LATEST HEADLINES : Europe's cold snap claims more victims, travel hit | Yuvraj Singh diagnosed with cancer : Reports | Euro zone insists no Greek rescue without reforms | Iran issues ultimatum to India over gas field | Oil industry sees no threat from electric car | China's Wen says country has stake in helping Europe | Global Markets: Central bank liquidity tap to stay open | Five world markets themes in the coming week | Jadeja hits IPL jackpot, England players ignored | Sahara withdraws team India sponsorship, IPL team | Comeback a distant dream for Afghan Taliban | Car bomb kills nine in Afghan city Kandahar | Civilian deaths in Afghan war up for fifth straight year : UN | Syrians storm embassies after uprising's worst violence | Defiant Gingrich vows to stay in Republican race | NMDC looks to acquire mineral assets overseas | Iran raid likely to drag in US, hurt global economy | Greece on "knife edge" in last hours to agree bailout | POSCO Q4 profit misses forecast, but beats Asian peers | Iranians bemoan sanctions hardship as vote approaches | Anger after Russia, China block U.N. action on Syria | Snow forces Heathrow to cancel half its flights | Eurogroup's Juncker warns of possible Greece default | Airtel, Vodafone boosted by telecoms ruling | Supreme Court raps govt on army chief DOB controversy | China gets restive taste of post-Dalai Lama era | Nevada voters cast vote in state caucus | Govt launches campaign to safeguard deserted NRI women | Gingrich Patron Could Have a Plan B: Romney | U.S. Plans Shift to Elite Units as Afghan Exit Approaches | Of the record 40,000 people in New York City's shelters, a growing number belong to seemingly ordinary families, rushing off to school and work, smartphones in hand | Egypt Sends 43 Aid Workers to Trial | Egyptian Forces Appear to End Siege | Europe is giving people power over their data. | Euro zone insists no Greek rescue without reforms | Obama has small-check donor advantage over Romney | Glencore, Xstrata hammering out final deal details | US : Bernanke to tackle housing woes | Central bank liquidity tap to stay open | Blankfein Gets 44% Less Stock After Drop in Goldman's Fixed-Income Trading | PepsiCo Said to Be in Talks to Recruit Former Wal-Mart Executive Cornell | Whitman's HP Compensation Reaches $16.5 Million With Stock-Option Awards | Central Huijin Plans for China's Biggest Banks to Reduce Dividend Ratios | BOE May Increase Its Asset-Purchase Target to $510 Billion, Economists Say | Saudi Aramco Raises March Oil-Price Differentials to Europe, Cuts to U.S. | ***Romania, IMF Agree on $664 Million Tranche as Balkan Nation's Growth Slows | Congress wins court reprieve over 2G telecoms scandal | Civilian deaths in Afghan war up for fifth straight year : UN | Sahara retires hurt | Robbery new source of funds for IM | With sparse data, focus returns to Europe | Central bank liquidity tap to stay open | U.S. prosecutors drop probe of Lance Armstrong team | 50% decline in number of birds along Yamuna | Hargreaves's career at the crossroads again | Fighter deals intensify global aerial arms race | High ridership : DMRC orders more coaches | Exam time : More students opt for Boards | Syrians storm embassies after uprising's worst violence | Hungarian gets 2-1/2 years in U.S. prison for hacking | CBSE changes pattern of claaa XII history paper | Disagreements on cyber risk East-West "Cold War" | Accreditation : 9 NCR schools chosen for trial | China set to play it safe on helping Europe | Merged Glencore, Xstrata would take aim at iron ore | Schools in tents : Govt to file affidavit by Feb 9 | Glencore and Xstrata in mega merger talks | Discoms not okay with DERC plan | Malaria kills twice as many as thought - study | ***Amazon launches online shopping service in India | Among metros , Delhi most prone to cancer ; lung cancer most common in men due to tobacco consumption ; oral cancer new worry | Bill to address RTE concerns in next session : Sibal | Nevada voters cast vote in state caucus | Street plays highlight sorry condition of govt schools | A double veto at the UN on Syria |   Guwahati Customs seizes 5 kg charas worth Rs 25 lakh from Jammu Tawi Express |  2G Scam case: Sessions Court rejects petition against P Chidambaram; Govt heaves a sigh of relief | Piramal adds 5.5% stake in Voda  | India exempts essential commodities to Bhutan from export bans |  Train travel on e-ticket: Railways to treat SMS sent by IRCTC on par with Electronic Reservation Slip | RIL charged in Rs 273 - crore insurance scam |  Drop in occupancy rates in higher education, low rung institutes struggle to survive | Muslim scholars seek triple talaq ban, curbs on polygamy | Union Cabinet okays proposal to give preference to locally manufactured electronic goods in procurement on security ground | Sahara routes cricket funds to social work |  Sahar Airport Customs seizes premium wrist watch worth Rs 18.64 lakh from lady passenger | Police, some on horseback, clear Occupy DC protesters | 'Mallya' jety rusting in Chennai ; authorities plan to sell it off to recover port berth dues | Romney takes big early lead in Nevada voting | Russia, China veto U.N. draft backing Arab plan for Syria | K'nataka HC employs transgender | Euro zone loses patience with Greece | Micron appoints Durcan CEO after Appleton's death | No post-poll pact in UP, says Rahul | Opposition angered as Venezuela's Chavez celebrates coup | In Ayodhya , few takers for temple ambition | Blast hits Egypt's gas pipeline to Israel | Clinton warns of "problems" with Egypt over NGOs | Detroit automakers say 'no' to Japan joining trade talks | Toyota sees 21 % rise in group sales worldwide | Missile defense pact could be "game-changer" for U.S., Russia | Libya sees political flowering ahead of elections | Libyan diplomat dies after torture: Human Rights Watch | Syria's Assad set for long conflict | College ratings game set for shakeup | Roommate-matching site does not violate housing laws: court | Western sanctions narrowing India’s options for Iran oil | Eurogroup's Juncker warns of possible Greece default | Assets of 34 UP MLAs rose by 187% in 5 years | Clock ticks on Greece's bailout deadline | Hungary seeks 15-20 billion euro IMF/EU creditline: official | ‘Invertent act is not conspiracy’ ; Special CBI judge Saini refines definition of criminal conspiracy in 2G case |  Russians stage rival protests over Putin | Unfazed Swamy vows to move SC | Russia, China veto U.N. draft backing Arab plan for Syria | Euro zone loses patience with Greece | Clinton warns of "problems" with Egypt over NGOs | Govt plans new telecom policy | Libyan diplomat dies after torture: Human Rights Watch | Bihar, troubled Indian state experiences turnaround | No evidence suggests PC subverted policy’ | Eurogroup's Juncker warns of possible Greece default | Obama: U.N. must take stand against Syria brutality | Reprieve for Chidambaram in 2G case | SC ruling to trigger telecoms industry shakeout | Airtel, Vodafone boosted by Supreme Court ruling | Telenor may quit India after licences revoked | Kingfisher puts oneworld alliance plans on hold | With sparse data, focus returns to Europe | Central bank liquidity tap to stay open | Congress wins court reprieve over 2G telecoms scandal | Fed-up SBI "to name and shame" defaulters | India's Jaypee Infratech Q3 net up 26 % | Disagreements on cyber risk East-West "Cold War" | PM sees FY12 GDP growth at 7 to 7.5 % | Sahara parts ways with BCCI, IPL team |  Guwahati Customs seizes 5 kg charas worth Rs 25 lakh from Jammu Tawi Express | 2G Scam case: Sessions Court rejects petition against P Chidambaram; Govt heaves a sigh of relief   India exempts essential commodities to Bhutan from export bans | Industry favours Negative List of Services; seeks exemption from MAT for Infrastructure and SEZ units | Train travel on e-ticket: Railways to treat SMS sent by IRCTC on par with Electronic Reservation Slip |  I-T - Whether valuation of stock is separate source of income - Whether loss resulting from valuation is to be considered under business income head | President greets the nation on Milad-Un-Nabi | PM greets the nation on Milad-un-Nabi | Dr Ashwani Kumar meets French Minister for Higher Education Laurent Wauquiez | Culture Minister Inaugurates Exhibition Gallery on “Our Universe” | India Signs MoU with USA on Labour and Employment | Vice President Inaugurates Golden Jubilee Celebrations of Kshatriya Seva Samiti | Govt announces six forest-based projects in Naxal affected areas | Allocation of 2G Spectrum in 22 service areas: TRAI seeks feedback on pre-consultation paper | India's Services Sector grows at rapid pace in January: HSBC Survey | Army's Chief age row: SC questions manner in which Singh's statutory complaint rejected   | Govt to finalise Mission Plan for Electrical Equipment sector in 3 months |Ministry setting up Transport Hubs on Pilot Basis | Tax Break Increases Deficit, but May Have a Silver Lining | Zuckerberg May Sell $1.67B in FB Stock | IBM Almost Doubles New CEO ’Ginni’ Rometty’s Annual Salary to $1.5 Million | Central Huijin Plans for China’s Biggest Banks to Reduce Dividend Ratios | No aggressive rate cut, open market operation will  continue : Gokarn | India beat Australia to finally end losing streak on foreign soil | Cancellation-hit telcos won't pull their punches  | Bank’s exposure to telcos drops 9% in 9 months |  No check-in queue as global airlines wary of India | U.S. jobless rate at 3-yr low as payrolls surge | Telenor may exit , Sistema to move SC | Trai favours auction of 2G spectrum in phases ; begins process for auction , floats pre-consultation paper | Limited price upside to hit India Q1 gold imports: Reuters Poll | Stanford had secret fund for bribes, yacht - witness | Spectrum auction : Telcos may show muted response | Infosys swaps manufacturing, finance heads | Vodafone , Airtel woo users from axed players | Industry demands growth boosters | Services sector expands at fastest pace in 6 months | Sensex rises for 5th week; Bharti Airtel extends gains | Fighter deals intensify global aerial arms race | Malaria kills twice as many as thought : Study | Canada PM wants RIM to grow as 'a Canadian company' | SC ruling to trigger telecoms industry shakeout | POSCO CEO says sees Q1 earnings as "most difficult" | PM sees FY12 GDP growth at 7 to 7.5 pct 03 Feb 2012 | RBI's Gokarn: Open market operations not aimed at helping govt | China set to play it safe on helping Europe | Telenor takes $721 million Indian writedown | Glencore and Xstrata in mega merger talks | Subramanian Swamy, sworn enemy of the ruling Congress | Micron CEO dies in plane crash, industry stunned | Jobless rate at 3-year low as payrolls surge | Over 200 people killed in Syria as U.N. prepares to vote | Wall Street analysts struggle to predict Apple | Komen reverses move to cut Planned Parenthood funding | Jobless claims fall, jobs market slowly healing | Willing to surrender 25 % of explored KG-D6, says RIL | Oil industry sees no threat from electric car | Toyota aims to sell 1,000 of its "86" sports car a month in Japan | Anxiety builds over Hong Kong's China policies | Hasten PDS reforms to implement food Bill, PM to states | China set to play it safe on helping Europe | Colleges cut tuition costs, hasten graduation
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 From Shakespeare's Hamlet

"To be, or not to be: that is the question". Hamlet quote (Act III, Sc. I).

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry". Hamlet quote Act I, Sc. III).

"This above all: to thine own self be true" Hamlet quote (Act I, Sc. III).

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't." Hamlet quote (Act II, Scene II).

"That it should come to this!". Hamlet quote  (Act I, Scene II).

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Hamlet quote (Act II, Sc. II).

"What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! " Hamlet quote (Act II, Sc. II).

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks". Hamlet ( Quote Act III, Sc. II).

"In my mind's eye".  Hamlet quotation  (Quote Act I, Scene II).

"A little more than kin, and less than kind". (Hamlet Quote Act I, Scene II).

"The play 's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king". Hamlet Quote (Act II, Scene II).

"And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man". (Hamlet Quote Act I, Scene III)."

"This is the very ecstasy of love". - ( Hamlet Quote Act II, Sc I).

"Brevity is the soul of wit". -  Hamlet Quote (Act II, Scene II).

"Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love". Hamlet Quote (Act II, Sc. II).

"Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind". - (Hamlet Quote Act III, Scene I).

"Do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?" Hamlet Quote (Act III, Sc. II).

"I will speak daggers to her, but use none". - (Hamlet Quote Act III, Sc. II).

"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions". - (Hamlet Quote Act IV, Scene V).

Business leader
championship :
red leader running
the race
MONDAY FEBRUARY 06 2012

 


IP-GLITTER.COM
(Click above for details )

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 05 :
UP ELECTION : NEWS 24 AND OBI /SC(UK) SURVEY


NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04 :
LOGISTIC BOTTLENECKS HIT SUPPLIES FOR STEEL INDUSTRY

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04:
INDO- FRENCH TIES IN S & T STRESSED

 

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
PREVENTION AND CURE OF CANCER

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
US UNEMPLOYMENT RATE DECLINES TO 8.3%

 NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
INDIA SIGNS MOU WITH US ON LABOUR AND JOBS

 NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
TRAI SEEKS STAKEHOLDERS' COMMENTS BY FEB 15

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
FM CALLS FOR 9%+ SUSTAINABLE GROWTH

Wave and offshore energy

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
INDIA KEEN ON COOPERATION WITH PORTUGAL

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 05 :
INDORAMA UNVEILS NEW SPANDEX FILAMENT 'INVIYA'

 
NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
GAIL BAGS MOU EXCELLENCE AWARD

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04 :
SLIDESHOW : FUJIFILM HONOURED BY BETTER PHOTOGRAPHY

SRI LANKA, FEBRUARY 03 :
CBSL RAISES KEY POLICY RATES BY 50 BASIS POINTS

BHEL WINS SCOPE EXCELLENCE AWARD

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 02 :
DISH TV LAUNCHES DISH TRUHD+ AT RS 2690

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 01 :
ONGC VIDESH BAGS SCOPE AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 01 : 
PNB REVISES INTEREST RATES ON FCNR D
EPOSITS

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 31 :
PNB Q3 NET PROFIT UP 5.5 % AT RS 1150 CRORE

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
ONGC STEPS TO IMPROVE WELAFRE OF EX-EMPLOYEES

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 29 :
PNB CMD GARLANDING STATUE OF LALA LAJPAT RAI ON HIS 147 BIRTH ANNIVERSARY

NOIDA , JANUARY 29 :
‘PARX LAUREATE’ WITH CULTURAL EXTRAVAGANZA



INDORAMA UNVEILS NEW SPANDEX FILAMENT 'INVIYA'

Thesynergyonline Corporate Bureau

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 05 :
INDORAMA Industries, part of US$ 8 billion conglomerate, Indorama Corporation , Singapore, has launched the new branded spandex product "Inviya™", as part of company's new strategy for for innovation.

UP ELECTION : NEWS 24 AND OBI /SC(UK) SURVEY

Thesynergyonline News Bureau

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 05 :
THE biggest opinion poll so far on the Uttar Pradesh election 2012 predicts a hung assembly this time around. The survey conducted by News 24 and OBI / SCL (UK) has thrown up surprising trends in the most populous state of the country.

LOGISTIC BOTTLENECKS HIT SUPPLIES FOR STEEL INDUSTRY

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04 :
APEX chamber ASSOCHAM on Saturday voiced concern over poor logistics infrastructure for supply of iron ore and coal for the steel industry and said slurry pipelines should be included in the list of industries with infrastructure status to address bulk transportation needs of the sector.

INDO- FRENCH TIES IN S & T STRESSED

  NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04:
THE  Union Minister of State for Planning, Science and Technology and Earth Sciences, Dr. Ashwani Kumar, stressed  the need to build on the existing good bilateral cooperation in the area of Science and Technology (S&T) at a recent meeting with French Minister for Higher Education Mr Laurent Wauquiez in Paris.

ANTEC WINS AWARD IN PC CASE CATEGORY

NEW DELHI, India, FEBRUARY 04 :
ANTEC , Inc., the  computer components and accessories brand has won “BCN Award 2012” among PC cases in the Japan domestic market.

BUDDING FILMMAKERS TO SHOWCASE TALENT UFO 0110  

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04 :
INDIA'S digital film festival, UFO 0110 International Digital Film Festival, is all set to give a unique opportunity to amateur filmmakers to cast a spell on audiences with  out-of the box ideas and treatment in their simple-yet heart wrenching stories.

 

 

PREVENTION AND CURE OF CANCER

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
IT is known fact that each year millions of people loose their lives due to cancer. Experts feel that in the absence of any concrete steps taken, roughly 26 million new cases of cancer can be diagnosed which may result in 17 million deaths by the year 2030 as per the prevailing trends.

US UNEMPLOYMENT RATE DECLINES TO 8.3%

 NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
THE total non-farm payroll employment in the United States by 243,000 in January, and the unemployment rate decreased to 8.3 percent, according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics released Friday.

INDIA SIGNS MOU WITH US ON LABOUR AND JOBS

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
"THE roadmap laid down in the memorandum of understanding (MoU) will facilitate very close cooperation and interaction between our two countries and bring about improvements in the life of workers and their working conditions."

 

TRAI SEEKS STAKEHOLDERS' COMMENTS BY FEB15

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
THE Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI) on Friday released a pre-consultation paper on "Allocation of Spectrum in 2G band in 22 Service Areas by auction" for comments of the stakeholders.

FM CALLS FOR 9%+ SUSTAINABLE GROWTH

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
THE Union Finance Minister Mr Pranab Mukherjee has said in order to achieve the objective of inclusive growth, we need to have 9 plus growth rate for a sustainable period.

 

INDIA KEEN ON COOPERATION WITH PORTUGAL

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
THE Minister of Agriculture, Environment, Sea and Spatial Planning of Portugal, Mrs Assuncao Cristas met Minister of New & Renewable Energy Dr Farooq Abdullah in New Delhi on Friday.

SLIDESHOW : FUJIFILM HONOURED BY BETTER PHOTOGRAPHY

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 04 :
FUJIFILM India , wholly- owned subsidiary of Fujifilm Holding Corporation, Japan, has won two Better Photography Awards. Fujifilm's  FINEPIX X100 has won the ‘Better Photography Innovative Product of the Year award’, while FUJIFILM X-10 has fetched ‘Better Photography Advanced Compact Camera of the Year’ award for the year 2012. 

Glitzer Text


CBSL RAISES KEY POLICY RATES BY 50 BASIS POINTS

Thesynergyonline Banking Bureau

SRI LANKA, FEBRUARY 03 :
IN an unexpected move, the Central Bank of Sri Lanka (CBSL) raised key policy rates – the repo (borrowing) and the reverse repo (lending) rate by 50 basis points to 7.5 percent and 9 percent respectively.

 

GAIL BAGS MOU EXCELLENCE AWARD

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 03 :
GAIL (India) received the MoU Excellence Award in Petroleum Sector for year 2009-10 from Dr Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India here recently.

EPCES JOINS PRE-BUDGET CONSULTATIONS MEET

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 03 :
O P Kapoor, Dy.Director General, Export Promotion Council for EOUs and SEZs (EPCES) has informed that EPCES attended a pre-Budget consultations meeting with Mr Pranab Mukherjee, Finance Minister on Friday here.

Glitzer Text

JANUARY PMI UP BY 3.3 POINTS TO 57.5

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 02 :
FOLLOWING the 3.1 points uptick in the December Purchasing Managers Index (PMI), the January PMI rose a further 3.3 points with the headline PMI reading at 57.5 – the highest seen since April 2011.

 

DISH TV LAUNCHES DISH TRUHD+ AT RS 2690

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 02 :
CREATING yet another benchmark in technological innovation in the DTH industry, Dish TV India, direct-to-home service provider, on Thursday unveiled Dish truHD+ with an unlimited recording capacity, at a price of Rs 2690 for the consumers.

9MFY12 FISCAL DEFICIT -92% OF BUDGET ESTIMATES


Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 01 :
TRENDS in govt finances remain unchanged with revenues running below budget estimates (BE) and expenditures continuing to overshoot. Consequently, the fiscal deficit in April-December touched Rs 3810 billion or 92 percent of BE (v/s Rs 1712 billion last year and 64.3 percent of BE over the past few years).

PNB REVISES INTEREST RATES ON FCNR DEPOSITS

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 01 : 
PUNJAB National  Bank (PNB)  has decided to revise interest rates on Foreign Currency Non- Resident (FCNR) Deposits Scheme from February 01 , 2012 .

ONGC VIDESH BAGS SCOPE AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 01 :
ONGC Videsh (OVL), the overseas arm of Oil and Natural Gas Corporation ( ONGC) has been conferred with the "SCOPE Award for Excellence and Outstanding Contribution to the Public Sector Management Institutional III (Other Profit Making PSE Cat
egory - Non Ratna)" 2009-2010.

CALL TO ACHIEVE SUSTAINABLE ENERGY GOALS

NEW DELHI, FEBRUARY 01 :
KANDEH Yumkella, Director-General of the United Nations Industrial Development Organization (UNIDO) and Chair of UN-Energy, on Wednesday urged countries across Asia to commit to achieving sustainable energy for all by the year 2030 by increasing access to energy, improving energy efficiency and increasing the use of renewables.

 

PM PRESENTS SCOPE AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AND MOU  

Thesynergyonline Corporate Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 31 :
THE  Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh addressed the chief executives of public sector enterprises and presented SCOPE Awards for Excellence and Outstanding Contribution to the Public Sector Management - 2009-10 and MOU Excellence Awards  - 2009-10.

 

PNB Q3 NET PROFIT UP 5.5 % AT RS 1150 CRORE

Thesynergyonline Banking Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 31 :
STATE-OWNED Punjab National Bank's (PNB) third quarter (October-December) in fiscal 2011-12 (Q3FY12) net profit recorded growth of 5.5 percent year-on-year to reach Rs 1,150 crore as compared to a profit of Rs 1090 crore in Q3 FY'11. .

PNB CMD PRESENTS CHEQUE TO PATIL

Thesynergyonline Banking Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
AS part of Coporate Social Reponsibility ( CSR ) and taking a step forward in strengthening bank's ties with the society, the Chairman and Managing Director of Punjab National Bank , Mr K R Kamath alongwith both the Executive Directors, Mr Rakesh Sethi and Mrs Usha Ananthasubramanian, presented a cheque for Rs 3 lakh to the President, Mrs Pratibha Devisingh Patil at Rashtrapati Bhawan, New Delhi for helping Hind Kusht Nivaran Sangh (Indian Leprosy Association).  

ALLAHABAD BANK NET PROFIT UP 34.78% AT RS 560.43 CRORE

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
THE net profit of Allahabad Bank soared to Rs 560.43 crore for the third quarter ended December'11 (Q3 FY2011-12) as against Rs 415.80 crore in the corresponding period last year, recording a growth of 34.78 percent .

SCOPE AND SAIL REMEMBER MAHATMA GANDHI

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
TO pay tribute to the Father of the Nation, Mahatma Gandhi, SCOPE and SAIL jointly organized a lecture session on "Ethical Leadership and Values in Management Practices", here on Monday .

GROWTH DE- RATING FROM 8%-9% TO 6%-7%

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
THE year 2011 is now widely acknowledged as a missed opportunity with the investment community largely resigned to growth trending in the 6 percent to 7 percent range rather than the 8 percent-9 percent range, according to Citi Investment Research & Analysis, a division of Citigroup Global Markets Inc.

ONGC STEPS TO IMPROVE WELAFRE OF EX-EMPLOYEES

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
OIL and Natural Gas Corporation (ONGC) organised a Conclave of the Retired Officers at ONGC Academy where Mr A K Hazarika, Director (Onshore) was the chief guest.

'ANUGOONJ' LEFT JIMS ON ZEST AND ZEAL

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
THE campus of Jagan Institute of Management Studies (JIMS) , got a makeover, when students delved deep into youthful exuberance at the zonal preliminaries of Anugoonj, the Annual Cultural Festival of Guru Gobind Singh Indraprastha University.

 

'EXEMPT COAL IMPORTS FROM CUSTOMS DUTY AND CVD'

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 30 :
INDUSTRY body ASSOCHAM has sought exemption from basic customs duty and countervailing duty for thermal or steam coal which increase the power tariff by 25 paise per unit and go against the basic tenets of ensuring long-term fuel sustainability and energy security.

 INFOGRAPHIC: ‘PARX LAUREATE’ WITH CULTURAL EXTRAVAGANZA

NOIDA , JANUARY 29 :
THE emerging real estate company of India Laureate Buildwell on Saturday organized the Bhoomi Poojan of its first luxury residential project “Parx Laureate” which is the most luxurious apartment in Express Way.

INFOGRAPHIC : AAI CHIEF OPENS WUSHU CHAMPIONSHIP

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 29 :
THREE days Wushu Championship has been organized by Delhi Amateur Wushu Association at Talkatora Indoor Stadium, New Delhi. The inauguration ceremony for the event was presided over by Mr VP Agrawal, Chairman, Airports Authority of India (AAI) and president, All India Public Sector Sports Control Board.

 

INDIA SIGNS CONVENTION TO COMBAT TAX AVOIDANCE

 Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI,JANUARY 27 :
INDIA has signed a multilateral convention on mutual administrative assistance in tax matters. The Convention was signed by Mr Sanjay Kumar Mishra, Joint Secretary, Foreign Tax & Tax Research Division, Department of Revenue, Ministry of Finance, Government of India in the presence of Deputy Secretary-General of OECD, Mr Rintaro Tamaki.

 

SELECTED FOR REFINERY EXPANSION IN PAKISTAN                                                    

DES PLAINES, Ill., JANUARY 27 :
UOP LLC, a Honeywell  company, said that its new process technology designed to help refiners get more high-value product from each barrel of crude oil has been selected by National Refinery Limited (NRL) to maximize diesel and lubricant production in Pakistan.

78% OF URBAN YOUTHS CONSUME DIETARY SUPPLEMENT

NEW SELHI, JANUARY 27 :
DUE to easy availability of supplements, about 78 per cent of adolescents in urban centers of India consume at least one dietary supplement such as pills, energy drinks, steroids and high protein supplements, reveals a just concluded survey by apex industry body ASSOCHAM.

 

 PROCEEDS TO BE UTILISED TO FUND CAPACITY EXPANSION

  NEW DELHI, JANUARY 27 :
INDIAN Railway Finance Corporation (IRFC), the financing arm of Indian Railways, is proposing to issue tax free, secured, redeemable, non-convertible bonds of face value of Rs 1,000 each in the nature of debentures, having benefits under Section 10(15)(iv)(h) of the Income Tax Act, 1961, as amended (bonds) aggregating to Rs 3,000 crore with an option to retain oversubscription of upto the shelf limit of Rs 6,300 crore.

Glitzer Text

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 26 :
COAL India (CIL) has migrated to a new system for pricing its non-coking (NC) coal on the basis of gross calorific value (GCV) from January 01, 2012. Till December 2011, the company used to follow the useful heat value (UHV)- based method to price its NC coal.


AEROSPACE AND DEFENCE EXPORTS TO REACH  $2 B IN 2011-12 

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 26 :
AEROSPACE and defence exports are likely to clock $2 billion in the current fiscal, apex industry body ASSOCHAM said.

AUDI BAGS TOP AUTOMOBILE AWARDS

Thesynergyonline Automobile Bureau

MUMBAI, JANUARY 25 :
AUDI, the German luxury car manufacturer, has swept the various automotive awards in India and bagged 15 awards for the year 2011. After record sales volume for Audi in India , Audi A8L, Audi A6, Audi A7 and Audi RS5 have garnered top honours of the industry, underlining Audi's brand essence "Vorsprung durch Technik".

PNB HONOURED FOR TRAINING INITIATIVES

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 25 :
PUNJAB National Bank (PNB) has been awarded with the "Golden Peacock National Training Award" 2011. This is for the second time in succession that the bank has been conferred upon this honour.

STRIDES ARCO DIVESTS 94% IN Oz UNIT FOR RS 2K CRORE

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 25 :
STRIDES Arcolab has sold its 94 percent shareholding in Ascent Pharmahealth , its subsidiary with operations in Australia and Southeast Asia, to Watson Pharmaceuticals,

MINISTRY OF TEXTILES PUTS UP TABLEAUX AT R-DAY PARADE

Thesynergyonline Fashion Bureau

NEW DELHI,JANUARY 24 : AT the Republic Day parade (January 26, 2012) Ministry of Textiles has made a beginning of putting up tableaux on Indian handicrafts.This was announced here at a media conference on Tuesday by Mr S S Gupta, Development Commissioner, Ministry of Textiles, GoI.

The Ministry of Defence (MoD) has selected the Indian Handicraft tableaux along with 9 others, out of the 25 Ministries that applied for display of tableaux at Republic Day parade.


RBI CUTS CRR BY 0.5 % , LEAVES REPO RATES UNCHANGED

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 24 :
ON the basis of the current macroeconomic assessment, the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) in its monetary policy review on Tuesday cut the cash reserve ratio (CRR) of scheduled banks by 50 basis points from 6.0 per cent to 5.5 per cent of their net demand and time liabilities (NDTL). This will be effective the fortnight beginning January 28, 2012.

PM TO OPEN 7TH ASIA GAS PARTNERSHIP SUMMIT

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 24 :
THE 7th Asia Gas Partnership Summit (AGPS 2012) ) , a two- day prestigious international biennial event will held on March 23 and 24, 2012 at Hotel Taj Palace, New Delhi.

 

IDBI FEDERAL UNVEILS CHILD PLAN 'CHILDSURANCE'

MUMBAI, JANUARY24 :
THE private sector insurer IDBI Federal Life Insurance on Tuesday unveiled its premier Child Plan, IDBI Federal Childsurance® Dreambuilder Insurance Plan, for parents of children aged one month to 17 years.

ONGC WINS 'GOLDEN PEACOCK NATIONAL QUALITY AWARD'

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 24 :
QUALITY Assurance Department of Oil and Natural Gas Corporation ( ONGC) has won the "Golden Peacock National Quality Award" for the year 2011.


CRR CUT TO HELP RELEASE RS 32,000 CRORE : ASSOCHAM

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 24 :
INDUSTRY body ASSOCHAM welcomed the RBI's move to cut cash reserve ratio (CRR) by 50 basis points, saying it will release Rs 32,000 crore and help fund viable projects held up due to liquidity crunch.

GAIL Q3 NET PROFIT UP 13% AT RS 1091 CRORE

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 23 :
GAIL (India) registered a turnover (net of excise duty) of Rs 11260 crore in the third quarter of FY 2011-12 (Q3FY11) as against Rs 8365 crore, a 35 percent increase over the turnover in the corresponding period in the last financial year. .

PNB CELEBRATES 100 YEARS OF PRESENCE IN EASTERN INDIA 

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 23 :
PUNJAB National Bank (PNB) celebrated its 100 years of presence in the Eastern India in Kolkata on Sunday at ITC Sonar, Kolkata. On this occasion, Mr Pranab Mukherjee, Union Finance Minister, congratulated Mr K R Kamath, Chairman and Managing Director, Punjab National Bank and entire PNB family on this historic occasion.

STRICT ENFORCEMENT OF CRIMINAL LAW TO CHECK FRAUDS : MOILY

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 23 :
THE government will remove existing ambiguities for strict enforcement of criminal laws to prevent growing incidents of corporate fraud as the financial sector diversifies to keep pace with the rapidly-growing economy, minister for corporate affairs Veerappa Moily said on Monday.

MR SQUARE FEET LAUNCHES POWER WELFARE SOCIETY
 
HYDERABAD, JANUARY 23 :
MR Square Feet, a company focused on providing end- to- end solutions to a home buyer, on Monday launched Power Welfare Society situated at Narsingi, Gachibowli in Hyderabad.

PANAMA AMBASSADOR MEETS EOUS, SEZ UNITS

 NEW DELHI, JANUARY 23 :
EXPORT Promotion Council for EOUs and SEZs (EPCES) organized a meeting of EOUs, SEZ units and SEZ developers recently with Mr Julio De La Guardia, Ambassador of Panama in India at Noida Special Economic Zone. 

MARUITI SUZUKI NET PROFIT FALLS 63.6% AT RS 2056 MILLION

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 23 :
MARUTI Suzuki India registered net sales (net of excise) of Rs 76,636 million in the third quarter (October-December) of the financial year 2011-12 (Q3FY11) , a decline of 17.4 per cent over same period in the previous year.

ONGC ROLLS OUT E-PROCUREMENT PROJECT IN HQ

Thesynergyonline Corporate Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 23 :
THE final phase of e-procurement project was rolled out by Director (T&FS), Oil and Natural Gas Corporation (ONGC), at Scope Minar, Delhi. On the occasion he underlined the role IT has played in this achievement.

Glitzer Text


Thesynergyonlione Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI,JAN 22 :
INDUSTRY body ASSOCHAM has called for restoring priority sector status for bank loans to non-banking finance companies (NBFCs) and said core investment companies (CICs) should be permitted to invest 10 per cent of the corpus in any scheme, including mutual funds.

RIL Q3FY12 NET DIPS ; SHARES BUYBACK APPROVED

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 20 :
RELIANCE Industries (RIL) on Friday reported net profit of Rs 4,440 crore on the third quatrer of fiscal 2011-12 (Q3FY12) as against
Rs 5136 crore in the third quarter of fiscal 2010-11 (Q3FY11), a decline of 13.6 percent.

BANKERS URGED TO BRACE UP TO MEET CHALLENGES

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 16 :
THE Union Finance Minister Mr Pranab Mukherjee said that the growth rate would be around 7.2 percent during the current year. He was addressing the CMDs/CEOs of banking and financial institutions in a pre-Budget meeting here on Thursday.

Glitzer Text  

NEWDELHI, JANUARY 19 :
THE Ministry of Textiles on Thursday announced the second edition of Tex Trends India 2012, which aims at providing the biggest platform in Asia to the exporters and the buyers to bring together the best in Indian garments and accessories, fabrics, home furnishings and made-ups, Indian handicrafts, handlooms, silk, wool and woolen products, jewellery, jute and carpets – all under one roof.

TAMIL NADU'S LARGEST IPP SET FOR COMMISSIONING BY 2012-13

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 19 :
COASTAL Energen , the power generating flagship company of the Coal & Oil Group, announced the progress of its 1200mw Mutiara Thermal Power Plant in Tuticorin, Tamil Nadu with COD slated within 2012-13. The plant intends to address the severe power shortage in Tamil Nadu.

STARTS OIL PRODUCTION IN BHAGYAM

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 19 :
OIL and Natural Gas Corporation (ONGC) and Cairn (Rajasthan Joint Venture) have commenced production from the Bhagyam Field in Rajasthan , according to a press release jointly issued by ONGC and Cairn India.

LATAM, CARIBBEAN COUNTRIES CALL FOR ENHANCED TRADE WITH INDIA

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 19:
INDIA, Latin America (LatAm) and the Caribbean countries have limitless potential for diversified trade engagement amid tough global macro-economic conditions stemming from the 2008 financial crisis, trade representatives and diplomats said on Thursday.

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 18 :
INDIA will need investments worth Rs 30 lakh crore in the next two decades across various segments of hydrocarbon value chain, according to a recent study jointly undertaken by Ernst & Young and apex chamber ASSOCHAM.

EARMARK DUTRY COLLECTIONS ON PRECIOUS METALS : GJF

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 18 :
THE All India Gems and Jewellery Trade Federation (GJF) has welcomed the new rule notification from the Finance ministry on the imposition of import duty on gold and silver with mixed reactions.


 

SIEMENS  UNVEILS  UNDER BETAGARD RANGE

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 18 :
SIEMENS  has launched a range of Miniature Circuit Beakers (MCBs) and Distribution Boards (DBs) under the Betagard range.

As the company claims that the products have a lower wattage loss compared to prescribed standards with enhanced aesthetics and user-friendly features.

REPO RATES CUTS AHEAD BUT MORE LIKELY IN MARCH

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 17 :
IN line with expectations, headline wholesale price index (WPI) inflation in December came in at 7.5 percent (Citi: 7.6 percent; consensus 7.4 per cent). The 160 basis points ( bps) drop in inflation over the 9.1percent print in November is due mainly to primary products inflation (weight of 20.1 percent) which slowed to 3.1 percent from 8.5 percent last month.

CRR CUT BY 1 % TO INJECT RS 56,000 CRORE IN BANKING SECTOR

 NEW DELHI, JANUARY 17 :
WITH inflation showing signs of moderation and velocity of exports increasing, industry body ASSOCHAM today called for 50 basis points reduction in repo rate to ease mounting cost of borrowings and at least one percentage point reduction in cash reserve ratio (CRR) to inject liquidity into the banking sector.

INTROSPECTS INTO MAXIMISING GROWTH MOMENTUM

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 17 :
IN what promises to be a challenging year for Oil and Natural Gas Corporation (ONGC)  as it sets itself up on a quest of internal renewal to effect systemic changes for its next stage of growth, the 10th ONGC Conclave introspected into maximizing its momentum of growth with the theme "Mantrana" in the picturesque serene temple town of Bhubaneshwar.

SAVE TAX AND EARN 8.70% INTEREST PER ANNUM

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 16 :
L&T Infrastructure Finance said on Monday it is looking to raise at least Rs 300 crore tranche 2 bonds issue which opened on January10, 2012 through a public issue of Long Term Infrastructure Bonds with a face value of Rs 1,000 each in the nature of secured, redeemable, non-convertible debentures .'

 

SMART METER TASK FORCE ON THE ANVIL ; PITRODA

MUMBAI, JANUARY 16 :
AT the inaugural session of GridWeek Asia 2012 organized by Indian Electrical & Electronics Manufacturers' Association (IEEMA) and Clasma Events and co-located at ELECRAMA-2012, Sam Pitroda, Advisor to the Prime Minister, Government of India and Chairman, Indian Smart Grid Task Force, said>>>>

ONGC LAUNCHES SAFETY CAMPAIGN

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 16 :
WITH a renewed commitment to safety, Mr. A K Hazarika, Director-Onshore launched the safety campaign 'Hum Safe' for the year 2012.r for Finance.

GOAIR DOUBLES KOLKATA AND RANCHI SERVICES

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 16 :
GOAIR, India's budget domestic airline with the youngest fleet, has introduced additional flights from Delhi to Kolkata and Ranchi from February 5, 2012. This enhances GoAir's day return service from Delhi to Kolkata and Ranchi.

NEED FOR CLARIFICATION ON KEY PROVISIONS : CII
 

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 15 :
THE Confederation of Indian Industry (CII) has welcomed the notification of the implementation rules for the Civil Liability for Nuclear Damage Act 2011 as a landmark legislation for India.

 

INDIA SIGNS MOU ON TOURISM WITH ASEAN

Thesynergyonline Tourism Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 14 :
UNION Tourism Minister Mr Subodh Kant Sahai has said that MoU between India and ASEAN would serve as the key instrument for more action oriented cooperation, encouraging both parties to cooperate in facilitating travel and tourist visit and further strengthening the close tourism partnership.

'RETAIN EXCISE DUTY AND SERVICE TAX AT CURRENT LEVEL' 

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 13 :
THE Associated Chamber of Commerce and Industry of India (ASSOCHAM) has urged the government to retain the Excise Duty and Service Tax at the current rate of 10.3 per cent in its Union Budget for the fiscal year 2012-13.

CRITICAL INFLUENCES ON CREATION AND CONSUMPTION OF PRODUCTS : STUDY

NEW DELHI, India , JANUARY 13 :
UNDERWRITERS Laboratories (UL ), a globa player in advancing safety, has developed the first of what will become an annual global study examining the role of perceptions on how and where products are made, sold, bought and consumed.

 

GAIL GAS AND AP GOVT JOIN HANDS TO SET UP LNG TERMINAL

HYDERABAD, JANUARY 12 :
IN a significant step towards ensuring the natural gas energy security for India , GAIL Gas , a wholly- owned subsidiary of GAIL (India) , on Thursday signed a memorandum of understanding (MoU) with the Government of Andhra Pradesh for setting up of an LNG terminal/FSRU along the state's expansive sea coast. 

 

TO INVEST RS 2,250 CRORE ON HOUSING PROJECT IN NOIDA

 NEW DELHI, JANUARY 13 :
THE real estate major Supertech on Friday launched 'ORB', a circular-shaped, 50- storey luxurious residential development, designed by interior designer Twinkle Khanna.

'AUDI SALES IN 2011 BETTER THAN EXPECTED '

NEW DELHI , JANUARY 13 :
AUDI AG sold around 1,302,650 cars in 2011, its previous sales record from one year earlier by more than 210,200 units.

EFFECTIVE DISCLOSURE NORMS ON THE CARDS

  NEW DELHI, JANUARY 12 :
THE capital markets regulator Securities and Exchange Board of India (SEBI) said on Thursday it will reform the initial public offer (IPO) process and ensure that disclosure norms are made effective as the Indian financial markets undergo radical reforms to become globally competitive.

ONE APPLICATION FORM ONLINE FOR MULTIPLE INSTITUTES

  NEW DELHI, JANUARY 12 :
SHIKSHA.COM , India's education portal, has introduced a common application form to facilitate MBA aspirants applying to multiple B- Schools.

ONE APPLICATION FORM ONLINE FOR MULTIPLE INSTITUTES

  NEW DELHI, JANUARY 12 :
SHIKSHA.COM , India's education portal, has introduced a common application form to facilitate MBA aspirants applying to multiple B- Schools.

RUPEE DEPRECIATION TO COST ADDITIONAL RS 66K CRORE

Thesynergyonline Economic Bureau

NEW DELHI,JANUARY 11 :
NEARLY 18 percent of rupee depreciation between May and December 2011 has added additional rupee cost of imports to the nation by Rs. 66,000 crore despite decline in the global prices of two major imported products crude oil and thermal coal, according to the ASSOCHAM study on "Rupee Exchange Depreciation: Impact Analysis".

PNB CMD STRESSES ON PARTICIPATIVE VIGILANCE

 NEW DELHI, JANUARY 11 :
THE Chairman and Managing of Punjab National Bank (PNB) , Mr K R Kamath, reiterated bank's commitment on participative and proactive vigilance. .

AAI ACQUIRES AERODROME LICENCE FOR ITS 54 AIRPORTS

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 11 :
THE Airports Authority of India (AAA) has acquired aerodrome licence for 54 of its airports in compliance with the international regulations and in conformity with regulations as set out in Part XI of Aircraft Rules 1937(Rule 78) and conditions mentioned in various Civil Aviation Requirements (CARs) issued by DGCA . 

SETS UP TECHNOLOGY CENTRE IN PUNE

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 11 :
WORLD'S third largest company in the commercial vehicle market the Nasdaq-listed company PACCAR is looking to tap India for component sourcing and developing technology for its global operations.

TNEW DELHI, JANUARY 11 :
"FIRST-OF-ITS-KIND Clinical Trial Shows Multiple Benefits of Intervention with Change in Cooking Oil in Indians with Metabolic Abnormalities and at Risk for Diabetes", according to a study by Diabetes Foundation (India) (DFI) & National Diabetes, Obesity & Cholesterol Foundation (N-DOC).


ONGC'S FOOTBALL TEAM'S 'HAT-TRICK' OF VICTORIES

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 11 :
CLOSE on the heels of winning the All India Public Sector Football Tournament trophy at Ranchi, ONGC Football team has now won the All India Gold Cup at Dousa, Jaipur defeating a mighty rival in AG Kerala after a high voltage Final which ended with the scoreline of 3-2 goal in favour of ONGC.

SUVS AND MPVS STEAL THE SHOW

Thesynergyonline Automobile Bureau

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 10 :
IF it is the compact car segment that is gleaming its way through the 11th Auto Expo, it is the Sports Utility Vehicle ( SUVs) and Multi Purpose Vehicles (MPVs) that are painting the town red with their flair.

Glitzer Text

 NEW WHEELS ON THE HYBRID TECHNOLOGY

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 10 :
AGAINST the backdrop of spiralling fuel prices and escalating environmental concerns, vehicles driven on hybrid or green technology have emerged to be the focal point at the 11th Auto Expo 2012. 

A HOST OF PRODUCTS AND SERVICES ON CAR AND ROAD SAFETY

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 10 :
CAR safety mechanisms are becoming more synthesized and integrated, as the challenges still persist in making such systems cost-effective and adoption varies in India.

ONGC PAYS RS 3964.35 CRORE INTERIM DIVIDEND TO GOVT

NEW DELHI, JANUARY 10 :
OIL and Natural Gas Corporation (ONGC) Chairman and Managing Director Mr Sudhir Vasudeva, presented a cheque for Rs 3964.35 crore to Mr Jaipal Reddy, Minister of Petroleum & Natural Gas, on Tuesday in New Delhi as the interim dividend of the company
.  

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 [On Clint Eastwood running for Mayor] What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?
-- Ronald Reagan

An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce.
-- Ann Landers

 

I used so much hairspray that I feel personally responsible for global warming.
-- Dusty Springfield

22 November

I’ve never been to an Al-Qaeda Christmas party, but I have seen the invites. No music, no dancing, but we promise the fastest game of pass the parcel you’ve ever seen.
-- Omid Djalili

I heard Angelina Jolie had a very difficult delivery with one of her children – she wasn’t in and had to go to the sorting office to pick it up.
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Koreans have recently brought out their own vegetarian version of an instant noodle snack. It’s called Not Poodle.
-- Jack Dee

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.
-- Rich Hall

Women are absolutely equal; they just can't quite lift as much.
-- David Lee Roth Spin, March 1988

1 November

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what ... Never again.
-- Tim Vine

16 July

Most of the men that sue in Hollywood are all about five foot two. They wake up every day, know they'ree tiny and feel very angry about it, so they go out and sue people.
-- Piers Morgan

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
-- Frankie Boyle

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
-- Frankie Boyle

29 January

A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
-- Anonymous

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.
-- Harry S. Truman

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
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19 July

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint...a Saint Bernard!
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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30 June

Some Have Psychologists, Some Have Sportologists — I Smoke
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28 June

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
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Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
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I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
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We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock.
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I backed a horse today at 20:1. It came in at twenty past four.
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I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last christmas she stood under the mistle toe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent. In fact she went to see that film the Elephant Man and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
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She can hardly get through an open door without explicit directions.
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Make crime pay - become a lawyer.
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